If you're reading this then you should be warned...This page is going to be filled with tons of sap and gooey love. There is no other way to tell our story honestly. Thanks for reading.
I'm going to go ahead and start at the beginning which can be marked as Jan. 1, 2005. I literally had my heart broken to pieces the night before that. My long time boyfriend had informed me that he had been cheating on me and we broke up to say the least about that final conversation. What a way to start a new year right? Well I threw myself into work and my friendships for the next few weeks. Sometime in February right after my 19th birthday an old friend (not friends anymore unfortunately), my best friend, and myself decided to go to some dirt bike races that were held in Adelanto every year to have some drinks and have some fun. While we were there that old friend of mine ran into an old friend of his...RYAN! We all got introduced and ended up hanging out all night. There ended up being a lot of people that we all knew there that night so by the time the races were closing up shop there was a pretty big group of us around a fire just having a good time.
When we met, Ryan had a girlfriend and I was completely heartbroken...not exactly the prime conditions for a new love to blossom...
When I first talked to Ryan I obviously noticed how cute he was but then after a little while I realized how funny he was. Although he hadn't been with his girlfriend long (which I found out not long after meeting them) to me it mattered. I had just been cheated on...I wasn't about to be the "other girl" haha so there was no flirting at all going on. BUT as luck (I guess you could call it) would have it that very night that we met a few of us (including Ryan) were walking towards the bathrooms I think and we look around a corner and see... Ryan's girlfriend kissing a different guy. Now I know Ryan was upset about this, I mean who wouldn't be but if you ask him about this now, he will say it didn't matter to him because he had just met me and it was an easier way for him to get out of that "relationship" haha. So without there being any drama over that, thank goodness, we just went on with our night and made promises to call and hangout again. Well that old friend of mine made good on his promises to Ryan because next thing I know Ryan is always with us! He started coming with the old friend to pick Evette and I up from my house in New Adelanto and I really was so happy to have him around. I told him about the break up, and he knew how tore up I was inside over it. There was even a few times that I cried in front of him over this idiot, and he still didn't waver. He wanted to be with me and that was that. I didn't want to be in a relationship...I explained in detail that I wasn't meant to be in one at 19 years old obviously. I was supposed to be free and go out and have a good time, if he wanted to come along for the ride though, he would be more than welcome. If only he knew how crazy that ride was going to become...
I wont bore you with the details of everything we did the next few months, but I will tell you that even though I didn't want to be in a relationship I still was developing feelings for Ryan. He did just about everything in his power to "woo" me. He took me on dates, he was super sweet to me, he listened to me, he made me laugh, and he even sang to me. One of my favorite memories from that time in our life is when we were in his car, he was driving me somewhere, I loved Maroon 5 (still do) and that song "She Will Be Loved" came on whatever CD we were listening too and he sang the whole song to me...after it was over all he said was "That...was amazing." Oh my gosh, I loved that he had sang to me but the way he ended it cracked me up for hours afterward. It was little things like that, that showed me who he was on the inside. I may have been closed off to anything serious but he was really worming his way into my heart.
So lets skip ahead to about September 2005. One day I was visiting Evette at work on my day off and we were talking about her pregnancy and how unexpected it was...well while we were having this conversation I realized...holy moly...I think I might be pregnant too...I took a test and sure enough I was. (Now the story that goes with this is VERY LONG and I don't feel like it really needs to be told in this particular blog. I'll save that for when I write out Max's birth story.) Let's just leave it at this, the baby wasn't Ryan's and I was about to break his heart in a way I didn't even know I would ever be capable of...
When I told Ryan I was pregnant he was pretty skeptical. He very cautiously asked me if he was the dad and I told him I was pretty sure he wasn't because I wasn't far enough along for him to be. (I really dont want to go into detail about my life behind closed doors but I'm not going to lie about it either.) Long story short, Ryan and I weren't exactly together but we weren't not together either. So next thing I knew Ryan was so upset, poor thing was crushed and I was to blame. I think he stopped talking to me for a week or two but he eventually came around. He knew that the father of my unborn baby wasn't trying to have any part of what was going on so he became my go to. He was there for my whole pregnancy. When I couldn't sleep I would go pick him up from his Grandma's house and bring him back to my house and he would spend the night with me just so I could get some sleep. I would go to his Grandma's house and he would let me lay across the couch with my big ol' belly and he would put my feet in his lap and rub them for me. He'd peel me dozens of oranges because I craved them so bad. When I think back to those days I can't do anything but smile. He was so good to me and I didn't see it how I should have. I was induced on March 28th in the evening and Ryan was in the waiting room for hours and hours...he had to end up leaving for work but he was back just in time the next day to see Max right after he was delivered. One of the few regrets I have in life is that I didn't get a picture of him there with Max. He stayed at the hospital with me until I kicked him out...thanks to my hormones haha! I'll skip over the next few months as they were pretty uneventful with regards to Ryan and I, Ryan and I still stayed super close and he was pretty constant in my life but then I had to move back to Texas...
I had to move to Texas for a few reasons; 1. I lived with my mom for free and she was moving back there. So if I had stayed here I would have ended up homeless. 2. I was a single mother with no one paying child support to help me and didn't have a job. So essentially the move was a necessity. I was gone for about ten months, in that time I talked to Ryan all the time. There were a few instances where he was a little mean to me, I think the distance and the fact that he had a girlfriend had taken away some of my "charm" ahahaha! So when I finally moved back I was working at WalMart which is where he was working too and at first he was totally normal! He had a different girlfriend this time, she was super young though so he was forever getting teased by me and a few of our co-workers about the age difference. I would just think how disgusted I would be if Max was 20 dating a 15 or 16 year old. But anyways, eventually he started ignoring me. At first I was just like whatever, it'll pass, some girls like to take over their boyfriends lives that way, but she wont last. And then I found out she was pregnant. My first thought was, holy s***, Ryan is going to go to jail, because thats what would happen if I had a daughter that got knocked up by someone who was over 18 while she was still a minor. Then I thought...well I'm sure he is beyond happy, and if he doesn't end up in jail good for him. So a few months pass by and finally I run into him and tell him congratulations on the pregnancy and he just tells me, "Oh she had a miscarriage." I was super upset for him because I knew Ryan's heart and I knew he was heart broken. This part of our story has a pretty big gap in it. I can't tell you how long it was before we talked again but I can tell you it was a while. I went on with my life and he with his. He got engaged to that same little girl and I just kept doing my own thing.
I can tell you though what happens next, I got a random phone call from Ryan one day, "Hey where's your apartment, I'm gonna come over." So I told him and I got really excited! I was going to get to see an old friend, I would finally be able to tell him how much it bothered me that he stopped being my friend for some girl he thought he was going to marry. He came over and he told me that he had found some pictures of her with other guys (not the smiley happy kind if you know what I'm sayin') on her laptop (I don't condone snooping like that at all so I did ask why he was going through her computer haha) and that he had broken up with her. As he is saying all this to me I knew he would go back to her. He lived with her for Pete's sake, he wasn't about to leave her for something like that. She had already hit him with her car, and done several other things that I had to hear about, from a few people, that would make me leave my fiance hahaha. He ended up staying at my house overnight, there was no funny business though cause I wasn't about to be a rebound...
The very next night Ryan called me to tell me he had decided to get back with that girl and I just said whatever Ryan...your mistake. I didn't hear from him again for a while...like a few months after that. One day I was doing some stuff at the college and I just had a random thought in my head; I wonder if Ryan has changed his number back to his old one? (Don't ask me why but he changed his number once and then changed it back and then changed it again, I don't understand the reasoning behind it but whatever haha!) So I just decided to shoot him a text and see if he would know my number, sure enough he knew exactly who it was. He called me right then and we made plans to hang out later that day. He came over to my apartment and he told me him and that girl had broke up and he was pretty sure it was for good this time. I gave him a huge eye roll for that one cause it was kinda hard to believe something like that after I had seen him go back to her before.
It turns out...he was really done with her. He was living with a friend at the time since he had moved out of the apartment he shared with her. So I would go over to his friends house and he would come over to my house to spend time together. Now if you ask this girl she'll tell you that in this time frame they were still seeing each other sometimes. I of course will never know if thats true or not, Ryan says it isn't so I choose to believe him. (Even if they were though, it obviously doesn't matter, he married me in the end.) So on November 27th, 2008 we decided we were officially a couple and a little while after that he moved into my apartment with Maximus and I...
Speaking of Max, I am intentionally leaving him out of this story. This is the story of Ryan and I and if I include all the parts with Max it'll be even longer than it already is. I will tell you that his relationship with Ryan was a HUGE deciding factor in my choice to be with Ryan. I would never have brought a man into his life unless I knew he was going to be around for good.
The end of the year was pretty hectic, Ryan found out some terrible news about something his ex had done to him (I had nothing to do with their relationship and whatever decisions were made so I wont go into all that), I finally started working again, and Ryan was still looking for work after being laid off. So the New Year came and went with nothing really new happening and then sometime in the middle of January we started talking about marriage. It seems so sudden to go from barely dating to talking marriage in a matter of months but Ryan and I were so close and already felt as though it was God & fate bringing us back together. Our relationship felt as though there had never been a break in it or any of the bumps we had gone over. It felt as though we had been together those three years. I knew as soon as we made it official that we were going to get married. Normally when I make up my mind about something I stick with it too so there was no turning back for me.
We got married at the court house in San Bernardino, on April 3, 2009. My sister was there, along with my mom and two of my brothers. We never really talked about having a real wedding with a reception and all that because we both knew that if we wanted to do that it was going to have to wait a few years and all we wanted to do was get married, we didn't need all the bells and whistles right then. We agreed to get married and eventually we would have another ceremony to renew our vows and then a big reception for everyone to celebrate our love with us. The day we got married is always going to be a day that I will never forget. Ryan took on the responsibility of not only a wife, but a child as well. I will never be able to say enough how grateful I am that Ryan took the place of father figure for Maximus. It's one of the best things that came from marrying Ryan.
Obviously having children came up. We knew we would for sure have a baby, we just didn't know when. We wanted Max to be completely potty trained, we wanted to be living in a house instead of an apartment, and we wanted Ryan to have a job.Well, Max was in the process of being potty trained, Ryan was working part time for a pool company, and we were still living in our apartment when I woke up one morning at the end of April and had a strong feeling that I should take a pregnancy test...
So that day I took a pregnancy test. I stared at that little stick for so long I was sure my mind was playing tricks on me. Was there really a faint pink line there or did I just want to see it? I even took it outside to look in the sun, that line was really there. It wasn't as dark as it seemed like it was supposed to be though. So I showed Ryan and he saw it too! I know its a little crazy to get excited over something that we weren't really expecting and that might not even be true but we were PUMPED! I jumped up and down, he did some kind of fist pump (hahaha), and we just got really happy together. I called my OBGYN and asked them to request blood work for me so I could make sure that it was real and the next day I went and had my blood taken. 2 days after having my blood taken I got a call from my OB, sure enough I was pregnant! He said he was surprised I had even seen it on the test because I was only 2 or 3 weeks pregnant! My hormone levels were barely starting to shift! I wasn't with Ryan when I got the call so right when I hung up with the doctor I headed home and told Ryan the news and it was more excitement all over again! I was going to be a mommy again and Ryan was going to have his first baby. Is there any greater gift to give your spouse that a child of their own. After what Ryan had gone through with his ex and her "miscarriage" (draw your own conclusions from that) he was a little hesitant to get too too excited but I assured him that unless God had other plans, we were going to have a baby and that I knew it was going to be a girl. We got pregnant literally the week after we got married, totally not what either of us was expecting but all the better because we were doing it God's way.
In May a few things happened, we moved into a house, Ryan's temp job ended, and we had our first doctor appointment. Ryan's job ending was devastating for me because that meant that I would have to be the only one working again and I was in school so I knew there was going to be some rough stuff ahead for me. We left that in God's hands and applied for unemployment for him. We moved into a 3 bedroom house in a better neighborhood. We wanted to make sure by the time the baby was born that it would have a home and its own bedroom, and our apartment was getting smaller by the day it seemed. Our first doctor appointment confirmed that our due date was in early January I knew the baby would be born in December though because I would have to have a scheduled c-section. Even though it was a little tough those few months it was worth it. Me working to support us showed Ryan how much I really do love him. I married him when he didn't have a job and when the going got tough I didn't go anywhere. I took care of my family because thats all I knew to do.
Over the next few months we got comfortable in the house, my belly grew bigger and bigger, and Max got potty trained! In September we were blessed and Ryan got an awesome job on the Marine Base here in Barstow. That couldn't have come at a better time because I was put on bedrest due to stress. I was in the hospital a few times with bleeding and at one point I was throwing up blood. The stress of having to do it all was getting to me and I think God saw my breaking point nearing so he provided a job for Ryan. So Ryan started working and I got to stay home and relax for lack of a better word. I was still doing what housewives do and I still was taking care of Max, I just didn't have to go to work everyday on top of all that.
I wont really go into detail about Gabriella's birth story because eventually I want to write them out for on a different blog, no one likes to read repeats!
So, on December 28th, 2009 Gabriella was delivered via c-section. After I was finally out of the recovery room and I was able to be alone with Gabriella and Ryan, it was amazing. The bond that is created between husband and wife after a baby is born is practically indestructible. I felt as though I had never loved anyone more than I loved him for giving me another little human to love. For the sake of keeping some of those moments private and sacred I will only tell you a little bit. I cried tears of happiness and joy as did he. The day we had our baby cemented our life together.
We brought in another new year in the hospital this time. I was missing Maximus like crazy because I wasn't able to see him for 5 days so when we were finally able to go home I was ecstatic! Seeing our kids together for the first time was another moment that will go down in history for me. Seeing Max be so gentle and loving with his baby (as he called her) was beyond precious.
We celebrated our first wedding anniversary a few days after Max's 4th birthday, by just going out to dinner. We didn't stay gone too long since I was still nursing Gabriella and I didn't want to be away from her for too long. The rest of the year came and went faster than I could have imagined. Gabriella turned 1 and we had yet another new year.
I am going to stop writing here for a few months. Ryan and I are not married for fun and we didn't get married to spite anybody. I didn't marry him for the help he would be in raising Max (though I do appreciate it). We married because we love each other. We married because we knew that we were the only two people in the world who got us. Our history was leading us to the ultimate future without us even knowing it. We have both learned from the things we went through and it has made us a better couple for it. We treat each other with respect, with understanding, and most of all with love. Just like any other couple; we have our arguments, we bicker sometimes, but at the end of the day we are married and there's not much that will happen that will tear that apart. Ryan is not just my husband, he is my best friend, and my team mate. Before Ryan and I got married I was already my whole self. I wasn't raised to depend on a man to complete me, so when I say that I dont mean it in a bad way. I mean that our marriage has made me a better version of me. I dont need to say that he is my other half because I'm not split into halves. He is my ADDITIONAL half. (haha) He adds so much to my world, I couldn't have asked for anything better in a man.
No one else (besides Max) was a factor in our decision. There may be naysayers out there, but who cares, when our marriage outlasts theirs we will all have a good chuckle about it.
I'm so happy you read Our Story. It made me so happy to relive all these moments.
I'll be sure to update it every few months.
Talk to you soon,
I know it hasnt even been that long since I first posted all of this but I thought I would still do a little update. Maximus turned 5 and we celebrated like crazy. Then a few days later Ryan and I celebrated our 2nd wedding anniversary! It was a fun day that was all about our love. We reminded each other of all the reasons we got married in the first place and re-made all of the promises we made originally with a few extra thrown in. I look forward to new things in our life that I can write about but until then I probably wont be updating this.
I'm already excited for our 50th wedding anniversary.
Talk to you soon,